I got a call the other night from my soon to be mother in law, that my fiancé’s grandma had at sonogram and it showed a large complex cyst on one of her ovaries.  OYE VEY!!!!

I think time stopped in that moment.  I was stuck in some parallel universe of past and present.  Flashing back instantly to the first time hearing that term from my gynecologist.  I thought, the word complex can't be good.  I mean we all want our organs, body parts, cysts to be simple right???

After a few minutes of being stuck, I snapped out of myself and immediately called her.  I felt this strong urge to talk to someone who could possibly be having similar experience that I did initially.  I felt the need to be supportive, and informative, and just there. 

I could hear the anxiety in her voice.  I mean why should she be nervous????  She is only 78, she only has lost her mother, brother, husband and son to cancer.  Her remaining child, her daughter has been surviving for about 6 years with this awful disease.  And now here she is being told she has a cyst that needs to be looked at.  Why should she be concerned???? 

After we spoke of a plan, to get a CA 125 done, and to meet with an oncologist about surgery she says to me..."I feel like my family has been targeted, like we have been plagued." 
Ah, the old conspiracy theory.  My therapist had asked me "do you ever wonder 'why me?'"  Not really, where is that thought going to get me??  I am not going to get an answer; it's just a waste of time really.  Do I think I have been plagued as grandma said? No. 

But I can see why she would feel that way after sustaining sooo many losses by the same disease taking different forms.   I can see why one would think that they have been cursed in someway. 

Me?  I just think that people get cancer, one reason of another.  I unfortunately was one of those people, but I never really pondered why.  I have more important things to focus on, like my new grandma.